The title of an apostle was neither something Paul fought for nor something he deserved. In fact, it was while Paul was persecuting the church that Jesus chose him to be His apostle. Paul repented of his ways and went on to become one of the greatest messengers of the gospel he once tried to destroy.
God in Christ Jesus has a plan and purpose for your life. You may feel undeserving of it or you may be trying to resist it, but in walking in His will, you will find the reason and purpose for your existence. The world and its desires will pass away, but the one who does the will of God will live forever (1 John 2:17). Do you know Christ and His will for your life?